Have you ever had an idea or dream that you’ve been passionate about? Have you tried sharing that dream with family and friends, and no one seemed to support it or showed interest? I have, and I’ve learned that doing so was the biggest mistake I could have ever made. The mistake wasn’t letting them know what my dream or idea was. It was expecting them to embrace it and support it as much as I believed in it. Will Smith put it best, [“ we tend to base our self-esteem on what other people think”]As a kid, my parents would praise myself and my brother’s achievements. I was taught growing up that if no one else in the world believed in me, my family and friends always would. For me, this became my crutch and my failure.
As an adolescent growing up I internalized those words and believed that if my family and friends didn’t believe in me and the things I set out to do, then It wasn’t meant for me to do it. If my friends didn’t believe in me and support me then they weren’t real friends. I didn’t know at the time, that the dreams and ideas I shared were really words spoken seeking validation. At the adolescent stage, I was subconsciously taught that I needed to be validated, and I needed my ideas and dreams to be validated as well. My ideas and dreams would never leave the ground and take flight because of my motivation and belief in myself rested in the hands of others.
I wasn’t fighting for my dreams because I didn’t know how. Years later I realized I didn’t believe in myself enough, to support myself. I was unknowingly giving away my self-empowerment just to look for empowerment from those I knew. I thought that if they liked and supported my ideas that I set out to do I was sure to make it. It didn’t dawn on me that I was really saying, I needed them to believe in me before I could believe in myself.
Facebook and Instagram perpetuate my theory. When you post your ideas, new business, etc. the first people you expect to like and share your post the most are family, friends and those that know you. You subconsciously depend on them to embrace your ideas and support you. When it doesn’t happen most of us are left questioning what now, it must not be good enough. This is a big mistake, I’ve learned that those that know you or who are closest to you judge you the hardest. This can be a good and bad thing
Meaning the amount of support that they can give to you and your ideas can be limited. If they aren’t in a positive space, Supporting you may cause them to self reflect or draw their attention to their own dreams and ideas “they may not be fighting for”. It can be hard for them to support you and your ideas if they don’t see great things within themselves. The images of how they see and feel about themselves may have the tendency to get pushed off on you. Knowingly or unknowingly the support you expect to receive turns into negativity.
A mirror can be a hard thing to face. As long as they can discourage you from reaching higher heights it removes the mirror and misery gets to keep its company.
All the support you need you carry within yourself. Empower yourself, foster your own dreams and build relationships outside of your circle. I’ve learned that more support comes from those you don’t know. New relationships bring new interest, unfamiliar people are more inclined to support what your business or cause is. The immediate connection is the business, they are completely unbiased of you which works in your favor.
Your drive and passion for your idea can be more of an inspiration to a stranger than to those that know you. Trust yourself, trust your product or idea and leave your comfort zone. Your comfort zone will stifle your dreams and so will the people in it if you never step on the outside. Don’t let your dependence on who you know determine how hard you go.