A few days ago, Ayesha Curry made a comment that drove the internet wild while attending Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk. Ayesha gave some insight on her insecurities while being married to Stephen Curry, saying, “ I have zero-this sounds weird but, like, male attention. So then I begin to internalize it and I’m like, ‘is something wrong with me?’ I don’t want it, but it would be nice to know someone’s looking”. The internet was enraged and began to shame her for her open honesty and vulnerability. In all honesty, we all should have a little Ayesha Curry inside all of us, but it’s been taught to be unacceptable behavior. In my opinion, this is society influenced behavior. Society has taught us that we shouldn’t be open and honest with our emotions. We shouldn’t talk about what bothers us, instead, we should only talk about what is socially acceptable.
The vast majority of us learned socially acceptable ways of dealing with our thoughts and emotions, by watching our parents and those who surrounded our immediate lives. Unfortunately, if you weren’t blessed to have role models who were socially incline; you missed out and fell below the curve. It’s sad to say that it’s socially acceptable to be in a relationship but not feel comfortable enough to express your insecurities openly or to your spouse. I personally can relate to what Ayesha Curry said, and can honestly say that I’ve experienced similar insecurities within my own marriage.
Finding “the one” person that compliments you and your life doesn’t mean you no longer carry humanly desires. Your outside desires just change to only focusing on a single individual. Over time things can become relaxed, and one if not both committed people can unknowingly disengage, and seem less interested. This doesn’t mean the love has diminished or the attraction has faded. You become comfortable, complaisant and a lot of the things you use to do to show your interest and attraction to your spouse start to lessen. For me, this comes with any time committed marriage or relationship and isn’t done intentionally. A successful household consist of one or two parties committed to Americas working society. Doing what’s needed to make the life they’ve built work. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the everyday go of life and subconsciously forget about your spouse’s needs and desires.
Finding the balance is where the real work kicks in but it’s possible. The feeling of not getting the same amount of interest and attention from your spouse, that was once given in the beginning can bring birth to insecure questions of self-doubt. Wondering Am I still attractive, is something wrong with my personality, wondering do I still have it. These are all valid thoughts and feelings that should be openly talked about in any relationship. These are clear signs of a love bucket that may not be getting fulfilled. Your spouse should be made aware. Sometimes we go through things and need reminding of what we have and how special it actually is. The population that believes you should keep these type thoughts to yourself is probably among those struggling to keep a partner or maintain successful relations. Instead of expressing themselves they do what’s socially acceptable and end the relationship or step outside of their relationship with someone else. We could learn a lot from Ayesha’s bold and courageous actions, men and women. I commend her for showing the world that she’s human and it’s ok to step outside the stigma set by society. She is breaking the chains that have hindered America in so many ways.