Born December 15 The youngest of three boys, son of John and Deborah ware. I was diagnosed with unknown severe seizures at the age of around five. A United States military brat with New Orleans Louisiana roots I was.
Despite my clinical diagnosis, my family wasn’t any different from any other poverty-stricken black family. I had a father that grew up fatherless; raised by a single working black woman in the Calliope projects where she was subjected to government assistance and below minimum wage earnings. I had a mother who grew up with both parents Living outside the same projects with multiple degrees, that struggled to find work within urban society. Together we experienced project-housing, budget Christmas’s, hand me down clothes, minimal name brand shoes, and off-brand food items. Some birthdays the only gift you received were the words Happy Birthday. Despite facing many adversities, my parents always made sure we never went without.
Did they make some bad decisions and choices along the way, who am I to say! At the age of 10 not getting the BMX bike with the pegs I wanted could be categorized as a bad decision to a kid. I don’t think my parents thought about how not buying it would affect me as an adult. In the early 90’s they formed a somewhat successful R&B singing group Called the Ware boys, composed of my two older brothers (Corey ware”left” John ware III “bottom center”) and I.
Family bonds and family values were always high on their list of things to instill in all of us. They made sure we always visited close relatives for the holidays, spent summers with grandparents and kept in contact no matter what the circumstances. Love was never a shortage in our family, and problems never seemed to linger long; so I thought as a kid growing up. I never knew that the unresolved fist fights, arguments, and disagreements that my family had, and ignored years earlier.
Would cause so much hate, separation and resentment towards each other in our later years. I couldn’t have imagined the physical fights we had over who our parents favored most or the whippings we received for not following house rules; Would turn into me not speaking or having a relationship with my brothers for over 5yrs. I never thought I would have three nephews and three nieces who I wouldn’t hear call me uncle. I’m now 35 years old divorced, happily remarried with two kids. I’m working for a Fortune 500 company questioning how my past family situations may have affected my current life, relationships with friends, family, and career. Through reading materials and conversations with individuals, who’ve already crossed the path that I faced. I was finally able to see and understand how there were tools that my family were unaware they lacked. I was finally able to see and acknowledge how the tools I lacked and needed later on in life could’ve never been taught to me.
They were never taught to those before me. How could I expect different results in my life when I didn’t possess the tools I needed to do so. I soon began to see how lacking those tools allowed me to fall victim to society’s mold as well. Today I take my learned knowledge and understanding to share information with those who surround my life, with hopes of breaking the chains that subconsciously hold us back.